YMCA Blues

My eliptical trainer at the gym is, frankly, getting kind of snarky. It starts when I enter my information before I begin the work out. The default weight is set at 150, so it takes me five minutes of pressing the UP button to get where my weight is. All the while my eliptical is beeping impatiently like, "Are you kidding me?" Then the default age is set at 20. Why so low? Twenty-year-olds don't need to work out; they look like gods. After the humiliation of posting my vitals, you won't even believe what the control panel reads as I start my warm up: "Pedal Faster." "Don't judge me!," I want to yell at it. I was planning on pedaling faster. In a minute.